My Top 5 KDrama Series (RETURN of the COMEBACK) Part 1

“Annyeong!” (Hi/Hello)…“Mianhe..” (Sorry)…“Abeoji!” (Father)…”Gumopta!” (Thank You)…”Bogoshipda..” (I Miss You)…”Saranghamnida..” (I Love You)…etc etc…These are some Korean words/phrases that I’ve learned from being a KDrama Addict. YES! You read it right “ADDICT”. Scientific name: KOREANUS ADDICTUS haha (not the real term..it just came out of my mind).

The first time I got hooked with KDrama series was during “Lovers In Paris”, “Stained Glass”, “Save the Last Dance for Me”, “What Star Did You Come From” “Sweet 18” eras until Lee Dong Gun went to serve in the military (as a requirement for young Korean men). I also stopped watching these dramas because of long and same old plots of a rich young man/girl falling in love with a poor guy/girl and never-ending revenge.

BUT now…here I am! The Return of the COMEBACK. With this homecoming and to mark the 1^st year of being a fanatic, I am sharing my TOP 5 KDrama series (2011 up to present)…Maybe one of these dramas is your favorite. Don’t WORRY! I’m not giving any spoilers haha

# 5: BOYS OVER FLOWERS and 49 DAYS

F4 Forever

These FLOWER Boys got my sister’s attention! And NOT ME hehe the Korean version of a Taiwanese hit drama, Meteor Garden (2001). When BOF was aired in ABS-CBN (Phil’s leading local tv channel), I told myself it’s the same plot, they just changed the names of the characters and adapt the Korean culture. Until 1 of my co-adiks pushed me to watch it because it’s different from the Taiwanese version and the OST (official soundtrack) is so nice. I told her OK I’ll add it to my “pila balde” (long list) of KDrama series.

            I started my BOF marathon after finishing 3-4 series…And she was right! The plot was there BUT the actors gave justice to their roles especially Lee Min Ho, who played the childish-bully type but romantic young man Go Jun Pyo. I like how the scriptwriters concise the story in 25 episodes . 1 season of Meteor Garden is 30 episodes same as the sequel. From 60 episodes down to 25 is already OVERHAULED! AND they pulled it off! Now, these four young men were already household names in Seoul (Kim Hyun Joong & Lee Min Ho are now Hallyu stars). A typical young couple’s journey with “me against my evil mom” story, through thick & thin bromance, giggling comedic scenes, and 4 gorgeous/billionaire bachelors = F4 rules FOREVER!

Best Scene/s:            Hilarious scenes of Go Jun Pyo 

Tied in 5^th spot with my Flowers Boys is a tear jerker fantasy/romance drama of the LIFE of our loved ones if we are on the other side of the fence. As the synopsis (in kdrama.org), Shin Ji Hyun (played by Nam Gyu Ri) was enjoying absolute bliss as she was about to marry her fiancé, Kang Min Ho, BUT met an unexpected car accident leaves her in a coma. Until Scheduler, a sweet smiling boy next door reaper (Jung Il Woo), gave her a second chance to live BUT with a condition: she has to find three people outside of her family who would cry genuine TEARS for her in 49 days.

            Three tears in 49 days...So simple if you would think about it especially if you know you have friends that will truly cry, not only with their eyes BUT with their heart, for you. My Tita got addicted with this drama. She tried her best not to sleep just to be with Ji Hyun and how she will get her precious tears J Since the Tagalized version was shown around 11pm in ABS-CBN, she will watch it the next day in YouTube or other internet sites that has a replay as long as it’s Tagalog hehe She told me about this drama. The next thing she knew, I’m already watching IT! (on top of my other dramas! See I’m not really an ADDICT LOL) and she would ask me every now and then what will happen next. We even guessed who will give Ji Hyun’s second chance of living. The 1^st tear she got was obvious. No doubt! From start to finish, she deserved to get her first precious tear. CLUE: The person who loves her the most.

 

            I got hooked because of 3 reasons…FIRST, the story and storytelling. Not a typical boy-girl type of courting and lovey-dovey on the side. It’s a love story of our lives. How we found what we’ve lost and start life again after losing someone that has been our LIFE. I like how the writers revealed each secret. How the story unfolded right before my eyes. “Wow!” “Uy!” “WHAT?!” are just some of my reactions every time a secret has been revealed. Especially the last unexpected SECRET. Because of this style of storytelling, the characters also had their own moments. And that leads me to my SECOND reason, Jung Il Woo! 

Jung Il Woo

The boy-next-door Scheduler! The first time I set my eyes (and heart) on him was like “Arrrgghhhh those SMILES! Killed me” haha Thank God for this drama! I found another KBoylet! hahahaha Seriously, He is one of the new breed of Korean actors that made my heart cry BUT smile at the same time. He knows his craft. He is not acting. He is Scheduler. I was touched how he loved his woman so much that he even asked from his “Boss” to give him a day with his one and only friend, supporter, lover and partner. That FAREWELL scene was so remarkable. I learned from him that there is LIFE after the big D. LAST reason is Jinan (county in North Jeolla Province, South Korea), home of the ever famous cherry blossom trees! Aside from Jeju, this is a must see place in South Korea. The scenery was so breath taking…so refreshing. One of the best romantic locations in a KDrama. 

Cherry Blossom Trees in Jinan

            A must watch for KDrama addicts like me. I have NO regrets in watching (until wee hours of the day haha) Relationships are the most important ingredient for us to be truly happy. So, what will you do if you were given another chance to live BUT with a task to complete in 49 days?

                                    Best Scene:          Farewell scene between of Song Yi Soo (Scheduler) and Song Yi Kyung (Diane)

# 4: FLOWER BOY RAMYUN SHOP and SCENT of a WOMAN

            Another Jung Il Woo starrer with his own version of “flower boys”…is an Eye Candy. When I found out he has another drama, I got excited and it’s Rom-Com! This romantic comedy deals with “pretty boys,” who with good looks and individuality, operate a ramen shop with lively college girls and experience the happenings of daily life. Yang Eun Bi (Lee Chung Ah) is a University student preparing for her civil service exam with the dream of being a high school teacher. She accidentally encounters Cha Chi Soo, an arrogant son of the biggest food conglomerate in Korea. Cha Chi Soo (Jung Il Woo) looks cool, confident and fascinates women with his bright smile and pure love. Both of them end up working at a ramen shop run by the lazy, Choi Kang Hyuk (Lee Ki Woo). (credits to: kdrama.org)

This was shown in a cable channel, tvN, so they forecasted that the viewer ratings will be low. Me & my co-adiks just watched it because we just feel that it’s worth the time & effort of online streaming…and to withdraw from our previous dramas. (Note: I really had a hard time to move on from a series that I got hooked on) The unexpected came…the 3^rd episode doubled the ratings of the previous episode and they carried 2% viewership ratings until the last episode. 

I’m not biased BUT I really LOVE, Jung Il Woo here. Every time he does his wink and flashes his smile, I felt like I’m melting hahaha His aegyo (cute acts), hilarious scenes, team up with Lee Chung Ah and other cast and the love story of an intern and a high school arrogant student became the foundation of this drama. 

Pretty Boy Lee Ki Woo as Choi

Even Lee Ki Woo’s “Machete” like body is an attraction! Thanks to his 2 yrs military service hehe This was his 1^st drama after he came out from the camp.  I also like the concept of how to make your own ramen…for us, it’s just a noodle soup but because of this drama, there’s a different side of the simple dish we got used of eating. Of course, I will never forget the KISS! The Hollywood Kiss! (thanks to: Catherine Deen’s FIVE Types of K-Drama Kissing Scenes oK Pop http://ph.omg.yahoo.com/blogs/okpop/6-types-k-drama-kissing-scenes-093001403.html) It’s W-O-W haha I even looked for the BTS (behind-the-scenes). I really envy you, Lee Chung Ah!  Hope I will be able to visit your FLOWER BOY RAMYUN SHOP!

Best Scene/s:     “Hollywood Kiss” of Cha Chi Soo and Lee Chung Ah; Lee Chung Ah’s confession to Cha Chi Soo and Cha Chi Soo’s AEGYO scenes (flashing his winks and to die for smile)

Lee Dong Wok and Kim Sun Ah

Next stop…A single mid-thirties workaholic woman who forgot to fix herself was given a limited time of living due to cancer of the pancreas. Her name is Lee Yoon Jae (played by Kim Sun Ah). She decided to quit her job at a travel agency and created a bucket list. She accidentally meets Kang Ji Wook, a rich handsome but lonely and stiff young man, in her first vacation trip alone in Okinawa. As the story goes, this Demi-God Ji Wook-ssi falls for her. At first, Yoon Jae resisted his love without telling him her real situation. If you were Yoon Jae, what are you going do? STAY but you continuously lie to Ji Wook that you’re OK or STAY away forever without telling him the truth…The truth of your real feelings for him and you only have 6 months of living.

Singing “You are so beautiful nae gaseume miryeowa seumyeowa dagawa beonjin ne sangchodo…” A typical 16 episode Korean drama with a mixture of comedy, romance and reality. Why reality? This is the only drama (that I’ve seen so far) that tackles everyday life of cancer patients. We know for a fact that cancer is one of the deadliest diseases today. Being with Yoon Jae for 8 weeks is an eye opener for me. When she was diagnosed with this dreadful illness, she made simple wishes. Some in her list were vacation trip to Okinawa, make Omma (Mom) happy, wear a wedding dress, learn Tango, be in love and marry the man she loves. Very simple yet time is not on her side. I like the writers’ way of giving Yoon Jae’s dreams come true. They did not give it immediately. They made sure that the Yoon Jae and the rest of the characters with the viewers will learn that there’s still LIFE after the Big C. As long as we’re still opening our eyes every time we wake up…we are ALIVE! 

Attraction or Distraction? :)

Kim Sun Ah is such a great actress. I salute her from head to toe haha I was touched by her portrayal especially in the scene on how she will tell her Omma about her poor health. Her Dad (in the story) died of cancer. Her partner, Lee Dong Wook is really a DEMI-GOD! This tall very good looking with natural pouting lips actor made my mind float for a while watching the shower scene (in Epi 4 and 6).  He is one of the Korean actors that will make you drool and in a Filipino saying “Kanin na lang ang kulang…ULAM na!” haha Acting wise..he pulled off his machismo style of being a next-in-line Chaebol (family-controlled companies in South Korea). And oh! The LOVE SCENE…so romantic and “KILIG”! Such a lucky Noona (older sister)! Their partnership paved the way! They’ve won an award in last year’s (2011) SBS Drama Awards: Top Excellence Awards for Best Actress & Best Actor (Soap Opera). The ending…the montage with Yoon Jae’s VO (voice over) is a must see. I’m happy I was able to discover another SCENT of a WOMAN.  
Best Scene/s:   Ji Wook sang a song for Yoon Jae admitting his love for her in front of their officemates 

Tango dance of Kang Ji Wook and Lee Yoon Jae is so INTENSE!

   

The much awaited LOVE SCENE

                                

                                                

to be continued...

The DAY We Said GOODBYE

I left two questions at the end of my previous blog (LAST 2 MINS..) "How will it end? The old fashioned way or the modern type of saying GOODBYE...?"  

Let's see..hmm...

2011 "The Day We Said Goodbye"...After years of not seeing you, eto na si takdang araw..Kaba, takot, excitement..Ano na kaya ang itsura mo ngayon? What would be my first word, phrase or sentence to you? Ako ba ang unang papansin? Pinalano ko pa kung anong mga sasabihin ko sa 'yo..Sinulat ko nga sa utak ko..Pinaraktis kung paano ang..kalmadong "Hi o Hello?" pa-curious na "Anong balita o Kamusta?" pwede ring parang walang nangyaring "Uy! o Ano Na?" Ang hirap!? Daig ko pang nakikipag-eye ball sa mga nagcha-chat sa YM! Samantalang kaibigan naman kita..May pinagsamahan naman tayo..Haaaayyyyy...Iba talaga if you're saying goodbye to a friend na natutunan ko nang mahalin :(

I was waiting..Looked around..Checked my wrist watch from time to time kahit nagsabi ka na male-late bilang coding..Tumindi ang nerbyos ko..Gusto ko nang hawakan ang kamay ng relo para lang tumakbo ang oras..Yumuko ako sandali..Pag-angat ko I saw you..Pero hindi mo pa ko nakita..Sinundan kita ng tingin..Ikaw naman ang naghahanap sa akin..Until you finally saw me..&..automatic, a SMILE on my face! O di ba..automatic san ka pa? Parang kotse lang haha 

"Kanina ka pa?" tanong mo.."Hindi naman.." medyo natural  kong sagot without looking at you...Namputsa! Hindi umubra ang pinaraktis ko! Aarrggghhh Pero at least, hindi ko pinakita na kinakabahan ako hehe :p

The CONVERSATION...From your request to see me (for the last time), I replied..We're both in the middle of our work schedule..The first few minutes was so awkward for both of us..silence from both camps...hanggang sa sumusulpot na si "ahhhh..","ganon ba", at "ok"..Pag ikaw ang nagsasalita, i tried not to look at you...puro glances lang..Kung titingin man ako..iniiwas ko agad..Haaayyyy Mahina talaga ako tumitig nang mata sa mata..Pinagdiskitahan ko na lang si Carbonara..Hanggang sa..."Mabagal ka pa rin kumain.." napansin mo.. "Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ang bagal kong kumain kapag kasama kita.." Banat ba yan, Neng? Tanong ng gago kong utak.. "Ganon ba..Cge lang..Baka kasi magutom ka nyan maya" sabay kamot ng  ulo yes? concerned lang hehe

Nagtanong ka na kung bakit ganon at anong nangyari...You asked me kung eto ba talaga ang gusto ko..Eto na si Discussion pero buti na lang hindi nya kasama si Argument so safe pa...Pinaliwanag mo ang differences nating dalawa...Nasa opposite sides tayo..dulo-dulo ba..PERO sabi sa Science, unlike poles attract..likes poles repel! Kaso hindi naman pala applicable sa ating dalawa..Chemistry lang tayo meron..AT hindi pwedeng mag-explore ng ibang branches :( 

While you were defending your case, I was listening to you..(again,without looking into your eyes..safety precautions as well)...I was so determined to end whatever we have..kasi for me, that's the best solution AT para matapos na..Imagine, my offer was "I will no longer bother you.." Wala nang mangungulit sa 'yo..Hindi na lalabas sa inbox mo..name ko..Ilang beses kong pinagisipan ang desisyon ko...

Until the final judgement came out...Honestly, I've never met a GUY na may laman ang sinasabi..someone who admitted his mistakes..did his best na hindi na maulit ang nangyari..& isang tao na ayaw i-give up ang FRIENDSHIP...Magkaiba lang tayo ng pananaw at style pero alam natin pareho what's BEST for both of us..WE both made sacrifices just to save our FRIENDSHIP..

I THANK YOU for not giving up on me..Kahit ako na ang paulit-ulit na naggi-give up sa 'yo.. 

I THANK YOU for everything...AND 

I THANK YOU for letting me know that you loved me...

HOW did we END..As we said goodbye, I asked you if you were ready...You said..."5 mins"..Then I realized, this is the longest 5 mins of my life (so far..)...I closed my eyes...Ikaw naman ang nagtanong.."Are WE Ready?" My eyes were still closed..but I felt my tears were starting to fall..then I said..YES...

A friend asked me what is the Modern Type of Saying Goodbye..Based on this experience, I can say you have to leave the past..mainly the situation itself..& not the person or people involved..It's a continuous process of communication, trusting & the most important, praying for each other :) The foundation of friendship will also play a big role in this kind of situation..I'm just blessed na SIYA ung involve. We are in a better situation now :)"

Sabi nga sa song ni Kenny Rankin..take note: hindi po siya pang-funeral hehe malungkot lang po ang kanta pero hindi..for me, what we've gone through nandito sa kantang 'to :)

 

"Its' not how long we held each other's hand
What matters is how we loved each other
It's not how far we traveled on our way
But what we found to say
It's not the spring we've seen
But all the shades of green

It's not how long I held you in my arms
What matters is how sweet the years together

Chorus:
It's not how many summertimes
we had to give to fall
The early morning smiles
We tearfully recall
What matters most is that we loved at all" 

LAST 2 mins....

2011-08-13..BaguioCity

“LAST 2 mins....LAST 2 mins...” Paalala ni Announcer...Tabla na naman ang iskor...FULL COURT PRESS...Buti na lang naitawid ng maayos...saka tumawag ng timeout...Nagsalita naman ang announcer...GAME RESET...Timeouts left..Fouls to give...Penalty pareho...Curious ang lahat...Paano matatapos ang game? Kung ang pagle-let go ay nasa huling 2 minuto na...Paano kaya ito matatapos?

1st Q: I’m still in love with you...I moved on but i never let go...Patuloy pa rin akong nakikipaglaro sa mga pakana ni Kupido...I keep on believing that you will accept my love (I don’t mind kung hindi mo ibalik)..PERO...you stand by your beliefs & being righteous..Kung ako, puso ang pinapairal ko..Ikaw naman utak ang pinagagalaw mo..

Tumahimik tayong dalawa...walang text..chat..or email..Siguro dahil na rin busy tayo sa mga kanya-kanyang responsibilidad. Pero nakalimutan natin na may responsibilidad pala tayo sa isa’t isa..OK lang..Ganon naman talaga eh...Kaya sa ‘yo ang PUNTOS...ikaw ang LAMANG...

2^nd Q: Bilang IKAW ang lamang...iniba ko ang strategy...sa kabila ng patuloy na pagsuntok sa ‘kin ng SAKIT...Binaling ko ang atensyon sa ibang bagay..at dito ko naramdaman kung gaano ako kamahal ng Diyos..Nagbigay siya ng mga bagong kaibigan...taga-untog sa ulo kong sing tigas ng bato at magbabalik sa puso kong dinurog ng maling panahon at sitwasyon...

Dumating ako sa puntong...hindi na kita naaalala...hindi kita nireplayan nang batiin mo ako ng “happy birthday”...pero hindi ako nakaiwas nang i-chat mo ko sa YM...siguro dahil na rin malambot ang puso ko sa mga taong bahagi ng buhay ko...We had a long chat..It’s a record! Mahigit isang oras...For the first time, binahagi mo ang puso mo...I never expected it...Great relief for both of us..Especially YOU...Imagine, you tried so hard to dodge me! And nagawa mo infairness...Believing that the pains I’ve encountered will easily go away...

After the CHAT...HIGH na naman ako kasi nabunutan ako ng tinik...magaan ang resulta... nag-sound off ka pa nga na you’re staying in Manila for good pero paalis-alis ka pa rin...OK naman ako..Nag-status pa nga ako sa FB & sent you a copy of this (text message)

“Days...Months...have passed...The END of our MISERY is just around the corner...waiting for you to HOLD my HAND again for our lifetime journey together....FRIENDSHIP =)”

Bumalik tayo sa normal na buhay...Nasanay na rin ako na magpa-pop up ka lang sa screen ko...tapos huling message mo parati..TIME OUT! Nahinto nga ang communication...Ikaw pa rin ang LAMANG...

HALFTIME....

3^rdQ: Tinanong ko ang sarili ko..Kelan kaya ako lalamang? January to June...madaming nangyari...nakapagtravel ako...Davao at HongKong...Salamat sa nunal ko sa paa...Sa Koreanovela na patuloy akong pinapakilig at dinadala sa kakaibang mundo ng pagmamahalan..Pati nga walang subtitle pinatulan ko na...Salamat sa Twitter at Facebook na sumbungan ko ng sama ng loob :)

Ikaw naman to the highest level ang trabaho...Infairness, I admired you with your work ethic...Idol nga kita on how you work :)

At habang ito ang mga ganap sa yugtong ito..Bigla ka na namang sumulpot...Sa pagsulpot mo iba na ang naramdaman ko..Oh oh..”nandyan ka na naman...tintutukso-tukso ang aking puso...” HEP! HEP! HEP!..baket ganon..nag-usap na kami ah?? Hmmm...Wala ‘to...Ayan nakakahabol na ko!

4^th Q: Iba na ang tono...Umigting ang depensa ko...”Defense! Defense!” Sigaw ng isip ko...Inagresibo ko ang opensa...One last push, Graciah, going to the homestretch...I wrote a blunt short letter...”Stop communicating with me..Hindi lang ngayon..bukas...next week..next month or next year...” Yes? Gumaganyan na ko? Epekto ba ‘to ni City Hunter?

Ayoko nang bumalik pa uli naramdaman ko noon...sobra ang sakit...I don't want to hear another "SILENCE" from you kasi nakakabingi..Ayoko na rin iwanan ako uli sa ere para palampasin lang ung "feelings"..nakakapagod...Ayoko na ring iwasan ako kasi sinunod ko lang naman ang puso ko...nakakatrauma...Lastly (& THE most important)...I don't want to betray (again) a pure soul because of my selfishness...

Natulala ang depensa...Ki-nut ba kita sa gitna? Pasok! Lamang ako 2pts...Eto na ang momentum ko!

After two days...You replied! It was a shock for you...You apologized for the Nth time for giving me so much pain...I know how sincere you are pagdating sa paghingi ng tawad...Kung magkakaroon ka man ng award for Best Apologetic Friend...Ikaw ang mananalo! Landslide na GrandSlam pa! Mabilis na 2pts ika nga! TABLA na naman!

Sa huddle..sabi ni Coach..GUMAMIT ng ORAS...wag magmadali...Itama ang tono...

You asked to see for the very last time...”Thank you so much gift” is waiting for me...Now the BALL is in my hands again...THE last 2 minutes of letting go...How will it end? The old fashioned way or the modern type of saying GOODBYE...?

Is LETTING GO a SOLUTION???

Sometime in July last year (2008)..i let my heart speak kung ano ang pinagdadaanan ko during those times..I made a choice..FRIENDSHIP (tama di ba?) pero sa kabilang banda ikaw pa rin ang sinisigaw ng puso ko..I stand of what i know is happiness despite of everything..

BUT two months ago..i had a major decision that changed my (love) story..Totoo pala na pag malapit nang dumating ang oras ng tunay na pagle-let go..

I was the one who initiated the move (hmp..lagi naman ako nagi-initiate..)..kasi nakikita ko mas lalo syang nahihirapan with the situation..kahit sabihin nyang hindi..ramdam ko..

Prior to this..we had an exchange of text messages..i said sorry to him sa pangungulit ko..i know naging selfish ako dahil sa nararamdaman ko & akala ko naiintindihan ko sya sa pinagdadaanan nya pero hindi pala..so sagot nya "ok lang..i just don't want make things hard for u..i thank u for loving me..but there's life waiting for you.."

So sinagot ko uli.."yes i know there's life waiting for me..Love is free will & not a commitment..It's a choice given to people despite of the life they've chosen..& i believe u're one of those.."..

2 days after..eto na..hindi na ako mapakali..i knew hindi na tama..so i prayed..i prayed to God to guide me kung anong gagawin ko next..so i decided to send him a text message..there's a sudden outburst deep inside me na hindi ko maintindihan so i cried...ung luha ko..tuloy-tuloy..nagulat nga ako kasi ang dami pala nun...ung kinimkim kong sari-saring emotions nandun..bago ko nacompose ung message..it took me to 2 hrs para mabuo ko..pinakamahirap gawin ang mag-let go lalo't mahal mo ang isang tao..pero kelangan eh...oo nga happy ako kasi naibabahagi ko ung love na un (inspirasyon ko pa) pero sa kabilang banda...may mas lalong nahihirapan kasi hindi nya maibalik ung love na binibigay ko..& that made me realize eto na ung time to let him go...

Feb19..1517hrs
-Grace's heart wants to tell u that.."i thank for the concern u're giving me..she fought a lot of battles with me..this "battle" is my priceless one..y?because eventhough there were a lot of hard times..i still chose to love u kasi i believe u deserved it..But sori to say, u did not believe. Am so hurt...really hurt...i will end this by letting u Go kc Grace loves u so much..Sobrang sakit but she does not want things more harder for u..thanks for everything.."

Then he replied.."I believe in our friendship but i dont approve the way you love me..At the end, you will only suffer bcos i can't return dat love.Kaibigan kita ayokong masaktan ka dahil sa 'kin..Don't let me go because it's hard for me.It's not.let's face things squarely.Let go of ur feelings becos they don't help you..u are hurt becos i dont respond to ur feelings because i can't..Grace, let go your feelings for me because that's whats best for u.It's also best for our friendship.."

I answered back "I will let go of u for a while..Need a lot of time to heal & change this heart..pagbalik ko d na kita iiwanan."

He answered.."Cge lang if that what it takes..Love urself Grace & be sure of what u want in life"..

My final answer.."I know what i want in life BUT that's not what i need..Wag ka na malungkot..Will get through this.."

..Akala ko loving him will make him happy (kahit konti) & help him sa mga nararamdaman nyang lungkot or paghihirap..sandalan..BUT it's the other way around...that's why i got hurt...sabi ko nga...i don't get hurt..i can't be hurt..i've never been hurt this much..just now..(Miggy ikaw ba yan! hehe)

A saving angel with a very Big Heart shared me something.."Para sa taong malawak ang pananaw, kaya niyang sabihin sa nagkakamali, “Okay lang yan, ang tinitignan ko yung mas malaking bagay ng iyong pag-mamahal sa Diyos at sa akin.”

Saka ito..winner!

ü You will know the size of your mind by the size of things that make you angry and the size of things you can give to people who matter to you.

ü Your mind and heart should be big enough so many things may become small.

With this experience..i realized how powerful my heart is...napakaliit pero ibang klase..hindi pwedeng turuan kasi may sariling mundo..matapang..masaktan man..Go pa rin..kahit sandamakmak na ung luhang lumalabas..pasaway pa rin..
PERO..kahit sobrang aggressive..marunong magbigay..lalayo sandali..para magrecharge & i-accept ang lahat nang hindi pwede..& kung anek-anek pa..

As of now..am still in the process of moving on (and on..)...meron pa ring kirot..minsan..pagkagising ko umiiyak na lang ako.. tapos tulala..nag-iisip..nakikiramdam..balik uli sa reality..parang walang nangyari..papasok sa office..after 8 -10 hours..uuwi..kakain..matutulog...

It will pass..just be strong c",) yes it will pass kasi meron akong mga kaibigang handang makinig (kahit paulit-ulit) & tumulong sa akin :) & si BRO! Alam ko hindi nya ako papabayaan..learning the hard way :)

Now tell me...Is LETTING GO a SOLUTION???

HOW I WISH THAT YOU'LL BE MINE c",)

i just wanna share this piece of writing to all..marunong pala me magsulat ng ganitong uri ng "ka-ekekan" HEHEHE..seriously speaking,for the person na naging dahilan ng lahat ng ito..MARAMING SALAMAT..

Matagal kong pinag-isipan kung sasabihin ko ang nilalaman ng puso ko...tila yata hindi tama na lagi na lang akong nagpapasaring...sinubukan kong ipaalam sa 'yo para mabawasan man lang 'tong gumugulo sa puso't isipan ko...pero naisip ko nxt tym na lang....marami pa namang pagkakataon...infatuation lang ba?cguro?pero HINDI..HINDI..HINDI...isang malaking kalokohan na mahalin kita...in the first place..lam ko naman na may mahal kang iba...kaya hindi ko muna pinansin...

Hanggang sa hindi ko na kayang itago pa...nagkataon na naging "bakante" ka... nagkaroon na ako ng pag-asa...sa kabila ng kaba & takot kung ano ang magiging reaction mo..nasabi ko rin ang mga gusto kong sabihin ng buong tapang...ngumiti ka lang...sabay sabing..."ok i''ll accept it..." pero akala ko okay na...hindi pala... pasaway kasi ako..hindi ko namalayan na umaasa na 'ko na mahalin mo ko...

Cguro kung mababasa mo man lang ito...malamang deadmahin mo lang...sadyang hindi mo nga ako gusto...pero ok lang..

Maliit man ako sa iyong mundo...nagpapasalamat pa rin ako....pinagana mo ang utak ko...pinakaba mo pa ang puso ko..nangarap sa bawat umaga na sana paggising ko ikaw ang kayakap ko...ngumiti pag naalala ko ang mga ngiti sa 'yong mga mata kahit stressed sa trabaho... gawin ang mga d ko pa nagagawa para kalimutan ka...

Cguro ang sarap ng feeling pag nagmahal ka...at binabalik sa 'yo ang pagmamahal na ibinibigay mo...lahat ng mga kantang maririnig mo...ire-relate mo sa nararamdaman mo...

Wala eh..ganon talaga...hindi ko kasi barkada si kupido...mahina siguro ang "lagay" ko...or nakalimutan nyang hasain ang pana na tutusok sa puso mo...

Sa palagay ko matatagalan pa before i get over this feeling...kung kailangan kong lumayo...bakit hindi?...mahirap pero kailangang kayanin...

Ang tanging hiling ko lang sa Diyos ay maging maligaya ka sa bawat paglalakbay na iyong tatahakin...

...Mahirap Pala Maging WRITER...

June 20, 2006 1215hrs

Mahirap pala maging writer…Hindi mo alam kung paano uumpisahan…Sa dami nang sinisigaw ng iyong isip…Hindi mo alam kung ano ang uunahin…Kadalasan, maraming sumisingit na ideya na dapat isulat agad…mabilis mawala..parang meteor (na ayon kay dao ming si "pag nakakita ng meteor ang dalawang taong nagmamahalan, magkakatuluyan daw sila"...totoo ba 'to???)…Isang mali…BURA! Mali na naman…BURA uli! Katulad ng binabasa mo ngayon…

Nasa FOODPARK ako ng isang building sa Makati (kanto ng Ayala at Paseo de Roxas). Kung pasado ka ng Geography 101…malamang getz mo na kung saan ko nasumpungang mag-aksaya ng tinta ng ballpen kong malimit mawala sa opisina. Panay kasi ang dampot ng mga boys..hindi naman binabalik..Buti na lang parang kalapati ito na alaga ng pinsan ko..marunong bumalik sa amo. Ito rin ang ballpen na ginamit ko kagabi sa unang subok ko sa laro ni Dave Green (Conceptis Sudoku). Sa una nakakatakot..Hindi ko kasi alam kung saan ko ilalagay ang mga numerong 1-9..’Pag mali..BURA..trial and error ba..Pero ok lang at least, nasubukan kong laruin ang isang laro ng mga henyong nagbabasa ng inquirer…ang ending..sumakit ang ulo ng lola mo T_T

Sira kasi ang akala kong matinong payphone..tatawag sana me sa office…GLOBE pa naman (kahiya..sa kanila pa naman ako nakalinya..prepaid nga lang)…MAKING GREAT THINGS POSSIBLE daw…sablay naman T_T Umikot ako sa kabilang dulo ng foodpark kung meron pang iba…nauwi ako sa magandang view na napili ko…overlooking ang mga puno sa tapat…building sa likod at harap..as usual, mga sasakyang sumusunod sa batas-trapiko sa Republika ni Binay…magkamali ka lang ng liko..bigla man o hindi..may yellow boys na lalapit..hindi ko lang knowing kung tumatanggap sila ng kulay ube…DEAL or NO DEAL pa ‘ata ang scenery…SANA HINDI!

Mas nakapukaw sa ‘kin ng pansin ang rebulto ni Ninoy na binago…Noong bata ako, natatandaan ko na pababa sa hagdan ng eroplano ang drama ng lolo mo na may ibon pa sa balikat…hindi sharp shooter ang bumaril dun kasi siya ung tinamaan hindi ung ibon…(kaya beware sa mga ibong lalapit..iwas agad..baka ma-dedz ng walang kalaban-laban hehehehe) Aba! Ngayon..may 2 dyulalay sa likod na hindi ko alam kung sinasamahan sya pababa o tinutulak palabas…Pasaway kasi itong tatay ni Kris…sinabi nang huwag mag-balikbayan..delikado ang sitwasyon…feeling niya siya si Superman (magbabalik na pala sa June 28…sa ating favorite theaters) na tanging kryptonite lang makakapagpatumba sa kanya…Ayan…’di pa nakakailang hakbang dedz na L …Hindi nya tuloy nakikita ang mukha ng paborito nyang anak sa mga naglalakihang billboard sa EDSA at ang manugang nyang basketbolista na para na niyang apo..Oi! In fairness, BAGAY sila (kris & james)…Nagpapasalamat rin pala ako kay Mang Ninoy..kung hindi dahil sa ‘yo walang EDSA…EDSA 1..EDSA 2..EDSA 3 (natuloy ba ‘to???) hindi ko ‘yan nakakalimutan…ipinapakita ng mga pangyayari ito ang pagkakaisa nating mga Pinoy...wala rin kasing PASOK sa iskul!!! Hehehehe Weeee!!!

Sa kaliwa ko naman ang isang medyo kaedad kong guy na pagkatapos lumafang ng lunch, nagbasa ng libro…Hindi ko nga lang ma-sight kung ano ang title ng nobela…Medyo kulay kahoy na ang mga pahina nito pero ‘di naman talagang kalumaan…Namiss ko tuloy ung tinatapos kong libro…Malapit na ang ending (mga 5 or 6 chapters na lang) sa pagitan ng isang pari at isang journalist na dati nyang dyowa noong nag-aaral pa lang sila sa Germany na bida sa kuweto at ikatlong sikreto sa unang apparition ni Mama Mary sa Fatima, Portugal 48 plus plus years nang nakakaraan (Rating: PARISH GUIDANCE)

Ring…Ring…ang cellphone ko! Hindi pala sa akin…lowbatt nga pala…buti na lang walang istorbo habang nagpapalipas ng oras at inaaksaya papel galing sa office. Sa totoo lang…proud ako sa cell number na ginagamit ko ngayon…0916-*****68…Hindi ko akalain na minsan nang inagaw sa akin pero bumalik pa rin…iba talaga pag “UNA KANG NAGING AKIN”…addictus venedictus kasi ako sa text kaya kahit sa dyip…GO pa rin...hindi ko makalimutan ang experience kong maghabol ng snatcher sa kalsada na may kasama pang “HABULIN NYO! INAGAW ANG CELLPHONE KO!!!” waaaa…at dahil panahon ng kapaskuhan noon (2002), nahuli naman ang may sala…”yun nga lang grounded ako…nakikitext na lang ako sa tatay ko…ginamit kasi ebidinsya (bisaya accent) ang kawawa kong cellphone (Panasonic) na parang remote control ng TV namin o remote nang aircon ng tita ko. First time ko ring maka-attend ng hearing…hindi lang basta audience..biktima pa! Kapal nga mukha nung snatcher, patawarin ko na raw siya…sabi ko..”Si Lord God na ang bahala sa ‘yo” pero sa totoo lang…takot ako sa kanya nung time na ‘un..baka balikan kami paglabas nito…dapat pa nga syang magpasalamat sa akin…tumaba siya sa city jail sa 2 taon nyang pagkakakulong…huli kita ko sa kanya, tagatawag ng pasahero sa tabi ng binibilhan namin ng komiks noong elementary pa lang ako..kaya hindi na ko madalas sa amin…hindi na ko batang MayniLA…batang SB na hehehe…

Ngayon lang din ako uli nakapag-upgrade ng fone..after kasi nun..8210 na ang gamit ko…asul ang unang kulay ng casing…3 taon ko ring hinahagis sa kama, minsan dumda-dive na lang bigla sa carpet at nababaklas pag nakikipag-smack sa sahig…PERO hanggang ngayon buhay pa rin…bunso ko namang kapatid ang lumalaspag…buti pa ‘yun..kahit ilang bagsak hindi pa rin napipilayan si Mickey Mouse J hindi katulad ng iba..hindi pa simula ang laban…nakatalikod na…naalala ko tuloy ang dati kong ka-berks na matagal nang hindi nagpapakita…isa siguro siya sa mga unang Pinoy na umakyat sa Mt.Everest (mahilig kasing mamundok) kaya lang hindi recognize..walang “kapamilya” o “kapusong” sponsor. Meron pala! Nasa Netherlands nga lang…kung saan ka man Sir…magpakita ka naman sa nanay ng anak mo pero wag ka na mag-expect na kamukha mo inaanak ko…hindi ka si Adrian na bulag dati tapos wit nya knowing na may anak sya kay Jennifer….Panahon na para mag-move on…

Ilang minuto o oras na lang nasa opisina na naman ako…kaharap ang computer ko na noong iniwan ko kanina..ayaw magpakita ng tigre sa screen…ewan ko ba??sa tuwing gagamit isa kong officemate, nagha-hang na lang pagkatapos nyang gamitin…nagtatampo siguro ung computer…magmi-migrate na kasi sya…sa ibang kumpanya nga lang…well, ganyan talaga ang buhay..may umaalis…may dumadating…in fairness,nagpa-party sya kagabi (june 19) sa office namin…bartdi party malamang..iba pa siguro ung despedida next week hehehe CHIBOG na naman!!! Weeee!!!

Mukhang nahihilo na ‘tong ballpen ko sa kakaikot sa daliri ko…oras na para gawin ko ang special task ko…draft lang kasi ito..ita-type ko pa sa computer…sabay post sa internet (email man o blog sa friendster)…bahala na kung may sumakay sa kalokohan ko or ma-imbyerna sa mga pinagsususulat ko…haayyyy…HIRAP TALAGANG MAGING WRITER….

PS: tandaan ito’y pangpersonal na babasahin lamang..bawal ikalat..pwedeng itapon sa basurahan hehehe salamat c”,)

...you know what is RIGHT..Let Go...Walk Away..

It's been a while...A lot of things happened...May nakakalungkot, may nakakatuwa..But it's still balance.. hindi naman pwede na palagi na lang malungkot or puro na lang saya..

Pero ngaun hindi ko alam nararamdaman ko..my heart is my devil's advocate "Go on, love him as you used to be..pero ung tama lang.." BUT my brain tells me to.."LET Go..Walk away..Be kind to yourself..All your life, palagi ka na lang unang nagbibigay.. Unahin mo naman ngayon ang sarili mo.."

Yes..i do love THE PERSON..sadyang mahirap pag napamahal ka na..lalo't kaibigan mo pa..tsk tsk..minsan ka-text..minsan ka-chat..minsan nagkikita..in short minsang kwentuhan na minsan napapadalas...ano 'to gaano kadalas ang MINSAN?? We're friends..dyan ako nadadale eh..sa friendship..hindi naman ako kagandahan & madalas pumunta kung saan-saan..ayus na sa akin sharing of thoughts.. quotations..dreams..problems..chismis..at kung anek-anek pa..honestly, i can say he is one of my dearest friend..i can share any story or experience..ang gagawin nya lang..makinig..kahit paulit-ulit..Sa kanya ko nakita ang pinaka-sincere na matang tumitig sa akin..haayy..

a CONFESSION..hindi ko nakayanan what he had told me..akala ko makakaya kong tanggapin on that moment..saka ko lang na-realize hours after..wala talaga akong laban..i got hurt..really hurt (kasalanan ko naman eh)..naniwala ako sa pag-asa..pero ASA lang pala yun ;(

it's between THE FEELING or THE FRIENDSHIP..syempre ideally, friendship ang pipiliin ko..nandun pa rin yung concern, suporta & love for a friend..but when my heart will continue to whisper..."Kempets na yan!Itago mo na lang..hindi naman malalaman unless ma-excite ka na naman..." tapos follow your heart ang drama... emote-emote sa bus..sa mrt..sa jeep..s harap ng computer habang nakikinig ng MP3..ang dali ko talagang mahulog sa mga tripping ni kupido..kung hindi ako pinapana,

tinutulak naman ako..ano naman kaya ang susunod..babarilin na nya ako???

you know, THE SITUATION...It's really hard for me to let go..lalo't alam ko na ang DAPAT gawin & DAPATpiliin..pero hindi ko magawa..Sa choice na nagkakatalo.. Lumalabas na ang katangahan..well ganon talaga ako..

na-realize ko naman na TAMA lahat ng sinabi nya..it's a valid reason..& ayoko rin naman na mawala sya sa buhay ko..

kaya THE CHOICE..sa buong panahon na naramdaman ko ang ganitong feeling..hindi ko pinagsisihan na nagmahal ako & siya ang pinili ng puso ko..because it gave inspiration in my life..helped me get through a lot of emotions..& share to others my happy heart..i even asked God to guide me with this..i know it's a long process, needs a lot of time to heal the wounds of the crash..but i HAVE to go through this & it will pass..wala nga daw shortcuts..lalo na ang biglang liko..tumirik man ako.. may patuloy na magtutulak..Walk Away..Walk Away...Walk Away...

i know what is RIGHT..i will LET GO..

for our FRIENDSHIP......

"LETTING GO doesn't mean giving up..BUT rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.."