I left two questions at the end of my previous blog (LAST 2 MINS..) "How will it end? The old fashioned way or the modern type of saying GOODBYE...?"
Let's see..hmm...
2011 "The Day We Said Goodbye"...After years of not seeing you, eto na si takdang araw..Kaba, takot, excitement..Ano na kaya ang itsura mo ngayon? What would be my first word, phrase or sentence to you? Ako ba ang unang papansin? Pinalano ko pa kung anong mga sasabihin ko sa 'yo..Sinulat ko nga sa utak ko..Pinaraktis kung paano ang..kalmadong "Hi o Hello?" pa-curious na "Anong balita o Kamusta?" pwede ring parang walang nangyaring "Uy! o Ano Na?" Ang hirap!? Daig ko pang nakikipag-eye ball sa mga nagcha-chat sa YM! Samantalang kaibigan naman kita..May pinagsamahan naman tayo..Haaaayyyyy...Iba talaga if you're saying goodbye to a friend na natutunan ko nang mahalin :(
I was waiting..Looked around..Checked my wrist watch from time to time kahit nagsabi ka na male-late bilang coding..Tumindi ang nerbyos ko..Gusto ko nang hawakan ang kamay ng relo para lang tumakbo ang oras..Yumuko ako sandali..Pag-angat ko I saw you..Pero hindi mo pa ko nakita..Sinundan kita ng tingin..Ikaw naman ang naghahanap sa akin..Until you finally saw me..&..automatic, a SMILE on my face! O di ba..automatic san ka pa? Parang kotse lang haha
"Kanina ka pa?" tanong mo.."Hindi naman.." medyo natural kong sagot without looking at you...Namputsa! Hindi umubra ang pinaraktis ko! Aarrggghhh Pero at least, hindi ko pinakita na kinakabahan ako hehe :p
The CONVERSATION...From your request to see me (for the last time), I replied..We're both in the middle of our work schedule..The first few minutes was so awkward for both of us..silence from both camps...hanggang sa sumusulpot na si "ahhhh..","ganon ba", at "ok"..Pag ikaw ang nagsasalita, i tried not to look at you...puro glances lang..Kung titingin man ako..iniiwas ko agad..Haaayyyy Mahina talaga ako tumitig nang mata sa mata..Pinagdiskitahan ko na lang si Carbonara..Hanggang sa..."Mabagal ka pa rin kumain.." napansin mo.. "Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ang bagal kong kumain kapag kasama kita.." Banat ba yan, Neng? Tanong ng gago kong utak.. "Ganon ba..Cge lang..Baka kasi magutom ka nyan maya" sabay kamot ng ulo yes? concerned lang hehe
Nagtanong ka na kung bakit ganon at anong nangyari...You asked me kung eto ba talaga ang gusto ko..Eto na si Discussion pero buti na lang hindi nya kasama si Argument so safe pa...Pinaliwanag mo ang differences nating dalawa...Nasa opposite sides tayo..dulo-dulo ba..PERO sabi sa Science, unlike poles attract..likes poles repel! Kaso hindi naman pala applicable sa ating dalawa..Chemistry lang tayo meron..AT hindi pwedeng mag-explore ng ibang branches :(
While you were defending your case, I was listening to you..(again,without looking into your eyes..safety precautions as well)...I was so determined to end whatever we have..kasi for me, that's the best solution AT para matapos na..Imagine, my offer was "I will no longer bother you.." Wala nang mangungulit sa 'yo..Hindi na lalabas sa inbox mo..name ko..Ilang beses kong pinagisipan ang desisyon ko...
Until the final judgement came out...Honestly, I've never met a GUY na may laman ang sinasabi..someone who admitted his mistakes..did his best na hindi na maulit ang nangyari..& isang tao na ayaw i-give up ang FRIENDSHIP...Magkaiba lang tayo ng pananaw at style pero alam natin pareho what's BEST for both of us..WE both made sacrifices just to save our FRIENDSHIP..
I THANK YOU for not giving up on me..Kahit ako na ang paulit-ulit na naggi-give up sa 'yo..
I THANK YOU for everything...AND
I THANK YOU for letting me know that you loved me...
HOW did we END..As we said goodbye, I asked you if you were ready...You said..."5 mins"..Then I realized, this is the longest 5 mins of my life (so far..)...I closed my eyes...Ikaw naman ang nagtanong.."Are WE Ready?" My eyes were still closed..but I felt my tears were starting to fall..then I said..YES...
A friend asked me what is the Modern Type of Saying Goodbye..Based on this experience, I can say you have to leave the past..mainly the situation
itself..& not the person or people involved..It's a continuous
process of communication, trusting & the most important, praying for
each other :) The foundation of friendship will also play a big role
in this kind of situation..I'm just blessed na SIYA ung involve. We are
in a better situation now :)"
Sabi nga sa song ni Kenny Rankin..take note: hindi po siya pang-funeral hehe malungkot lang po ang kanta pero hindi..for me, what we've gone through nandito sa kantang 'to :)
"Its' not how long we held each other's hand
What matters is how we loved each other
It's not how far we traveled on our way
But what we found to say
It's not the spring we've seen
But all the shades of green
It's not how long I held you in my arms
What matters is how sweet the years together
Chorus:
It's not how many summertimes
we had to give to fall
The early morning smiles
We tearfully recall
What matters most is that we loved at all"
What matters is how we loved each other
It's not how far we traveled on our way
But what we found to say
It's not the spring we've seen
But all the shades of green
It's not how long I held you in my arms
What matters is how sweet the years together
Chorus:
It's not how many summertimes
we had to give to fall
The early morning smiles
We tearfully recall
What matters most is that we loved at all"
